Marjim Manor Musings

Old fashioned fun!

We saw "You Can't Take it With You" last night at the Lockport Palace Theater. What a fun play! Of course it was written for a different social era, so terms that were shocking to a 1937 audience didn't face the 2010 group. Phrases that today would be consider politically incorrect, still garnered laughs. But a little bit of nonsense now and then is needed.

One of the actors I first met when I was on the school board, and he was on the board for a neighboring district. Another actor and I attend the same Temple. A third I know from working on Wine Trail promotion projects. Three different worlds of mine together on one stage! Remember hearing about seven degrees of separation? Well here is was in true life for me.

So, while I was enjoying the humor, I also enjoyed the interaction between people I know on the stage. Watching them take on a different role and relish the opportunity was uplifting.  Maybe that's what the evening stands out in my mind. A group of people took time to have some fun. The actors had their avocation, the audience had entertainment.

I hope you have time for some fun - whatever it may be.

L'Chaim - To life!

My Political Two Cents

The Governor's proposal for the NY State Budget is out. I'm a little familiar with how government budgets work, having spent 12 years on a Board of Education. But this one has me flummoxed. I don't understand the priorities selected, nor do I understand how someone could be proud of this proposal.

That being said, I have a few observations:

It is all just numbers on a piece of paper. When it comes to a household budget, you know your income, your expenses and how to balance them. The state budget numbers are so large that they are meaningless. No one equates any of the numbers with a real dollar amount, as in I have to write a check for that. What's a billion here or there?

Many government workers have never owned a business or worked in a business that has to look at cash flow and long term planning. Filling in one more form or going through one more department doesn't affect the bottom line of their department, so why should it matter? I've had to cut employees' hours, order differently, change priorities, streamline.

Legislation is a terrible way to solve problems. Whatever the problem in your community, pass a law to solve it. Then, leave the law on the books forever and never update anything. Someone gets injured in an accident, let's pass a law. The fact that costs such as safety equipment, new construction, different materials, isn't on the radar screen. But, even though you have to provide an extra piece of equipment or extra service, don't raise your price. These things need to be free because they are good for you. How about the myriad of forms a business has to file? Heaven forbid different departments use the same form or allow you to file electronically. Why do some departments need 7 copies of one form?

Setting a budget has nothing to do with reality Let me use the school budget as an example. To set a school budget, start with the mandates (funded or not), contractual requirements, legal requirements and everything else imposed on the district. Then, if you can, add in the flexible items. The flexible items are those that enrich student life like sports teams, gifted programs, music and art beyond certain minimums. Imagine we rolled back school legislation and made every public school more like a charter school. We could spend our time educating students instead of fulfilling mandates - and spend less money!

There is safety in numbers. There is safety in longevity. New York City has the numbers, so they get the funding. Longer serving politicians appear to have their requests filled. Those that talk about something long enough and loud enough, make it a priority.

Budget items have a tradition. I've always wondered why my county has a golf course. It's nice to have a golf course, but it's not a necessity. To me, budget items should be life's necessities. It makes me wonder how many things in the state budget are golf course type events. Health, safety, education - those are priorities. If the state or county wants things like golf courses, they should cash flow themselves. Oops, there I go again, thinking like a business person.

That's my political two cents for the day - I'd love to see things change, but don't hold out much hope.

A toast to common sense!

Lazy, Hazy days of winter

We are open all year. There are a few holidays we close, but other than that, we're here serving wine. This is the time of year when half of the phone calls are "are you open?" or "what are your hours?" As a result, when visitors come, we have lots of space and lots of time to spend with them.

Sometimes, a customer realizes they've been visiting for a while. "No problem, " my daughter usually says, "I'm here until 6 PM." We have time to tell more stories, walk people though the manor. On occassion, someone wants coffee or tea. We're always happy to oblige.

This past weekend was fun. Customers who were out for a weekend drive, had a visitor from out of town, had visited before, were exploring a new wine trail. Maggie could tell the ghost story. Dave could do his One Minute Wine College. The cats went in and out, and in and out, and in and out.

Our rule of thumb: If the local school districs (Barker and Newfane) are closed, we're closed. So come on by. These lazy, hazy days are great for visiting.

Cheers!

January 16 - Music, music, music

Why do some of our wines have musical names? The stock answer: They were named while we were sitting at our two oldest children's Cornell Symphonic Band Concert. Yes, we attending band concerts until 2 of our children were 22 years old!

Bailey Hall at Cornell was being renovated, so the concert was held at Ithaca College. Ithaca is known for its music program. So, as we are sitting together before the concert, we started throwing names around for Cherry wines. Cherry Concerto came out, and a trend was born.

Naming our wines is sometimes that simple!

With musically inclined children, you'd think they'd have a musically inclined mother. After all, their grandmother attended Music and Art High School in NYC for music. However, unfortunately, I am the musically declined one in the family. As my family likes to joke: What's the similarity between Mom giving a speech and singing? She doesn't use notes for either one!

But at least their talent gave us some great wine names.

Na zdrovye!

January 14 - Where do the days go?

As much as I've tried to write everyday, life is life. I get going on a project, or email and poof. Next thing i know, the day is completely gone.

I'm a list maker, but the problem with a list is you add things and sometimes the earlier projects aren't finished. So, I try prioritizing, or adding notes, or adding steps to big projects. All I get then is a messy list.

Through serendipity, I've acquired a blackberry. My daughter tells me it is so easy to keep my calendar and job list on that. I'm still playing with the set up. If I'm not careful one of the things I'll need to schedule is a a trip to the eye doctor to get my glasses strengthened!

Well, the phone is ringing, the cat has decided she wants a belly rub, and I should think about making dinner - oh, yeah, and there is some winery paperwork...

And another day flies by.

Cheers!

January 12: Purple with pink flowers -- and a pocket

My turn to weigh in on the Facebook bra controversy. As a breast cancer survivor, I have to say: Let's lighten up.

It has been almost 9 years since my diagnosis, surgery and treatment. When I was first diagnosed, there was so much I didn't know or understand. Science was never my strong point to start with. I wanted to put on rose colored glasses and have the world be pretty. I wanted kindness, compassion, hope. That was how I coped with the words "Breast Cancer." Other women have coped with humor, with music, with support groups. Cancer is not right or wrong, Cancer treatment is not right or wrong. Cancer is. Treatment is.

When I was diagnosed, I was still on the Barker Board of Education. As a board member and parent of 3 children, I understand that people have a myriad of learning styles and that teaching something once doesn't mean the subject was learned. Every year, there is a new group of students who are starting at square one. Some teachers continued to teach the same grade, some changed.

Cancer support is the same: new people are being diagnosed, new methods are being developed, new doctors are being trained. Imagine cancer as a diamond. The side you see is cut and polished, but the back is still being processed. Each person who is touched by cancer adds their own flair to our diamond. One day it will be full and shiny. For now, it is still a work in progress.

Having cancer changed me. Today I'm more willing to slow down, to wait things out. I'm also more stubborn - I know what I want in my health care, where I want to spend my time and efforts.

So for those who posted your bra color - good for you. There are many who benefited from your support.

For those who chose to ignore it - good for you. There are many independent people who want to cope in their own way.

For thsoe who protest and think it was terrible - good for you. Now help us find a way to do something that will meet your needs to.

Today it is plain, old white - but the pocket is still there.  Every July 12 we celebrate the fact that I have the pocket - a part of my body may be gone, but I'm not! I'll be toasting on that day - I hope you can toast good health on whatever day you can celebrate.

A votre sante (To your good health!)

January 11 - All I did was start and....

All I did was start explaining a couple of details about the Manor  - and the history started pouring out. As you may know, I've been researching the house, the community, the residents, and a myriad of other details about this place, preparing to write volume 2. Volume 1 is the legend of Appleton Hall, Volume 2 will be the real history of Appleton Hall.

Let me give you an example. Hannah Denelia Ripley Farwell Ring lived in the Manor between 1895 and 1907. It was on Sunday June 16, 1907 that she died here. Her father was Rev. Allen Plumb Ripley. Rev. Ripley, according to his tombstone, "built many churches." While he was on the Niagara Circuit he was assigned for a year or two to many places. A partial list includes Kempville (Olcott), Ridgeway, Medina, Knowlsville, and a number of locations in Buffalo. For a period of time, he ran the Buffalo Christian Advocate, a weekly newspaper.

It was on this date in 1901, that one of Rev. Ripley's Memorial services was held. So, Hannah's ties to this area started when she moved around with her parents from church to church. One big circle. If you visit Forest Lawn Cemetery in Buffalo, you can see the family tombstone with the quote that started my research.

I'm always learning new details - so who knows what I can share next time you visit?

Cheers!

January 8 - A quiet day

Ah Friday. Some of you are ending a week. For us, the week begins. Weekends are our busiest times.  With the renovations, we've technically been closed this week. We did have a few customers come in anyway, as usual. While you are thinkiing of the fun you'll have this weekend, I'm planning work schedules. Most of my days off are during the week, such as they are.

While the weather is a bit blowy, I think I'll sit for a few minutes, do some needlework, pet a cat. Maybe even have a glass of wine - I think I have some around here somewhere. Enjoy a quiet day so that telling the ghost story is even more fun tomorrow!

So enjoy your weekend, I know I'll be enjoying mine.

A votre sante!

January 7 - If it's Thursday

If it's Thursday, it must be Toastmasters. (Anybody else remember the movie If it is Tuesday, this must be Belgium?) Thursday morning is my weekly (as opposed to weakly) Toastmasters meeting. However, given the cold weather and snow on the ground, I chickened out. When I say morning, I mean morning: 7 AM!

Don't get me wrong, I love the meetings. They are a great way to start a day. We laugh a lot, applaud a lot, learn a lot.  But there is something about getting up on a cold, dark, winter morning that has me reluctant to go.

What is Toastmasters and why do I go? Toastmasters is an organization designed to teach listen, public speaking and leadership skills. No, we don't give speeches every week. We don't even have a task every week. But part of learning to speak is learning to hear what could be a problem. I can't tell you how many people have come to a meeting, heard the ah master give a report, and never listen to a newscast in the same way again. Counting ah and ums becomes second nature. But that's one way to eliminate them from your speech.

I've been in Toastmaster for, I think, 14 years. I have my DTM - Distinguished Toastmaster -- the highest degree there is. But I go because if I get everything I can out of Toastmasters, I'll never get out of Toastmasters. Right now, I'm concentrating on improving my evaluation skills and carrying them over into my workday.

Don't worry, I'll be back at Toastmasters soon. Improving my speaking and listening skills. Laughing and applauding with everyone else. I think I'm even scheduled to be Toastmaster soon. Then not only do I lead the meeting, but I lead the toast. And with that, I'll just say:

Cheers!

January 6 - Cat Conversations

I spent today working on the actual history of Appleton Hall. I've found some newspaper articles and have been putting them in chronological order and finding many overlaps between the various families. Of course, the weather is less than delightful outside.

After his morning constitutional, William Shakespeare came to inform me that he walk was not its usual pleasant outing. He promptly hopped up on my desk and fell asleep on the right side of my computer.

Sally came to check in, jumped up on the desk, sniffed and groomed William and then curled up on the copier/printer.

Meshuganah stopped in and checked out the food dish. My husband bought the last bag of cat food - not her favorite kind. She made her usual cat noises in my direction, joined by her grandson Shoe. Shoe, being a boy, soon discovered there was a food in the dish and cleaned it up.

Shoe had some difficulty getting past the water dish on his way to his favorite sleeping spot. It seems that Tootsie has decided it is her water dish and no one else can drink from it. Shoe waited around the corner until he heard her move.

So where does Tootsie decide to go? On my desk. Horrified that William is there, and ignoring the fact that I have a large L shaped desk, she starts singing. William's response. He rolls over so his back is to her. Miffed at not having any effect, Tootsie sings to me for a minute, goes to my far left and sits with her back to William. Eventually she does settle down.

So the only one I haven't seen in a while is Raymond. He's been to fascinated with the paintbrushes in the tasting room. 

From the noises to the body movements, these felines were in full communication mode. And my husband thought I wouldn't accomplish anything today. I had theater to watch. What could be better?